Broken Dreams
by Delta Immortal
Summary: After Seifer fails the SeeD test, he realizes that some dreams he never acknowledged are broken and have no chance of seeing reality because of it. Shonnenai.


…Agnst. Delta loooveees her angst.

Disclaimer: Don't own, Square does.

Warnings: Skinny-dipping Zell. Shonnen-ai, though kind of…odd.

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Growling, Seifer pulled his blade from the last remaining grat in the area. Fireworks lit up the sky above him, and he glared at them. The last thing he'd done was introduce Rinoa to Cid at the party- and promptly got the hell out of there. It was humiliating, after several tries and still not being a SeeD. Even the chicken-wuss had been a SeeD!

That's what made Seifer really, _really_, steamed. Squall he could understand. Squall was his rival, who he'd trained with and he'd _made _Squall good. The new girl, well, she'd taken a great risk to listen to orders. And whoever the last one was must have done the same.

"You can't listen to orders, Seifer," he mocked Quistis saying, cutting up the grat into little pieces. The Chicken could, that's why he was a SeeD. The cutting morphed into hacking the more he thought about it. The chicken was just annoying! He and his stupid fly-swatting that broke everyone's concentration! Chicken hadn't done _anything_ Seifer had! He'd just bitched about Seifer and Seifer'd gone and found out about the tower and still, he wasn't a SeeD.

Chicken was. Seifer growled angrily as he snapped around and moved to find the next victim. The secret area was filled for tonight with curfew breakers. He smiled, getting out his detention slips. So he couldn't give them to SeeDs, but they were at the party. He sure as hell could give them out- and he would. It was past one, after all.

He flung the door open and the sixteen or so couples who'd gathered around the balcony to watch the fireworks gasped in surprise. "It's the disciplinary committee!" One cried, and Seifer nodded.

"That's right kids, and Uncle Seifer's in a bitchy mood today. Get your slips and get your asses out." He handed them their slips and they left, saying nothing. Seifer sighed and leaned against the balcony as the last remaining fireworks flew off together. He'd hoped to have someone special to celebrate with. He snorted. _Hell, I'd hoped I'd have something to celebrate._

"Heelllooo!" Came a call from below, and then much shhhing. Seifer grinned. Yelling at people always made him feel better. He jumped the balcony and started, slowly, sneaking towards the two couples. Oh, these two would be in big trouble. Only SeeDs were allowed in this area- aside from himself, of course. From the voices, it sounded like two men. Seifer grinned. If it was a gay couple he'd definitely have blackmail for years.

Slowly, he managed to hide off-path behind a large fern. Someone was laughing, running barefoot across the small lake Garden had. "This was fun!" the man stated, laughing again in his hearty way.

"I'm glad you liked it," the other said, and gave off a SeeD uniform glint. Seifer cursed inwardly. They were SeeDs. He watched, hoping something else would come along.

The quiet man, the one with shoes, walked over to the one without, and suddenly the moon came out from the fireworks smoke. "It's beautiful," the shoeless one stated, looking up.

Seifer's heart stopped. Chicken? The chicken was out here? The chicken was gay? He couldn't believe it, even as the other man wrapped his hand around Zell. Anger once again flushed through Seifer. The chicken had something to celebrate, and apparently, someone to celebrate with. Fate just hated him, didn't it? Seifer stepped on a flower, grinding it into the dirt.

"Hey, what are you-" Zell turned to the other man right as the quiet one leaned in for a kiss. It was a brief moment, before Zell managed to get away by falling on his butt, in such surprise his usual grace was gone. "Nida. Don't."

Nida chuckled, offering a hand. "You liked it, admit it. You're so gay, Zell, everyone can see it."

Seifer grinned. This was blackmail for years to come.

Zell got up on his own. "I'm not gay, Nida. I'm sorry." Nida angrily slapped him.

"You aren't fooling anyone!" Nida shouted. "I've watched you since you came here! You're more gay than anyone else, and I know you'd like to _be _screwed. The one chance you get an offer-"

"No, Nida," Zell stated quietly, the only thing Seifer had ever seen Zell do quietly. "Go back to your room."

Nida hit him again and raced off, on the path Seifer had taken down. Seifer blinked, watching as Zell turned to the lake. The moon glowed and submerged the tattooed blonde in its haunting red light.

Seifer's breath came quicker. Well, if Zell wasn't gay, maybe he could beat the chicken up. Maybe scare him. He moved, snapping a twig. Frozen, he turned to watch Zell, but Zell paid it no mind. In fact, Seifer stopped to listen.

Zell was sniffling, wiping his eyes. "Hynedamnit," he stated brokenly to himself, pulling off his gloves. He rubbed them through his hair, pushing it back a lot like Seifer did. "Damnit."

Then there were full-fledged sobs, and Zell buried his head in his knees. Seifer grinned at his blonde's amusement. Zell hadn't cried since he told Seifer he was going to be a martial artist and Seifer couldn't beat him up in the Garden anymore.

This was perfect. Maybe he could get Zell to cry if he did the same thing. "Does everyone think I'm gay?" came the question, and Seifer nodded silently, though he knew Zell wouldn't see him.

"Fuck…I'd tried…I'd tried…to hide this…"

_Well, well_, Seifer thought. _Chicken is gay after all_. He grinned, standing up, completely in the open.

Zell pulled off his shirt, wiping his eyes with it. "Ah, hell," he stated. Seifer was about to respond when the undershirt fell off, too.

_He's built,_ Seifer realized and hit himself mentally. He was _not_ eyeing up the chicken!

"You know this," Zell stated, looking at the moon. "You know those stupid dreams you send me, you know what he'd do if he found out." Zell bit his lip. "And you stuck me with him for our exam." Zell sighed and lay back in the sand.

_Squall_. Seifer angrily crushed the fern in front of him. It was always _Squall._ Why the hell couldn't Chicken love _him_ instead? How come _Squall_ got all the credit for his work?

Zell sighed and started unzipping his pants, and Seifer ducked down again, not wanting to hear Zell's personal…fantasies. Cloth fell to the sand and there was a plink. Seifer looked up.

Somebody wanted a swim, Seifer noted. There was chuckling in the water, and Seifer couldn't help but stare as he realized it barely covered the chicken's hips. Zell started to giggle, and slowly they transformed into full-fledged sobs.

Seifer winced and he sat down, trying not to look at Zell but he couldn't tear his eyes away. Zell immerged himself in the water, wiping away the tears. Seifer watched, transfixed and panting. Zell was beautiful in the water. Simply breathtaking. Zell plodded out of the water eventually, smirking as he realized he'd brought no towel. Instead, he decided to air dry against a tall rock marking the end of the path.

Seifer could almost touch him. Suddenly the heated anger he had felt evolved into the heated passion he knew he'd felt but never knew the chicken would hold the strongest bid over his feelings. Maybe he was just tired. Yeah, that was it.

Zell shivered and Seifer stood, handing Zell his coat. The action threw Zell completely off-guard and Zell jumped back, blushing and trying to hide his modesty. "Seifer!" he stated.

"I saw you swimming," Seifer told him, still holding the jacket. "You can use it until you get dry." Zell took the coat tentatively and covered himself in it. Hyne, he looked like he was about to cry again. "I heard splashes, so I came down to investigate."

Zell nodded, thinking about why Seifer was here. He sat down. "I'm not stupid, Seifer."

Seifer sat next to him. "I know you're not," he told him, perhaps in a moment of weakness. Maybe it was the fact Zell was naked and close to him, but strangely Seifer didn't want to fight anymore, not when there were other options.

"I'm glad you made SeeD, chicken." Seifer stated, looking at the moon. Zell turned to him, with big, wide eyes. "I mean, your ma could use the money, right?"

Zell looked down at the ground, saying nothing. Seifer continued. "It's a whole lot nobler than my dream. At least I've got a roof over my head for two more years or so." Zell looked up at him and Seifer gave a small smile. "I don't hate you," he responded and Zell looked down at the ground again.

This was going nowhere, fast. Seifer took a breath and Zell took a fistful of sand, watching it spill.

"I'm not going to fuck you, Seifer," Zell stated. "I know that's why you're here. Nida told you I was easy and cheap or whatever, and no, I'm not, and I'm not-"

"Let's not go there, Chicken. I don't care if you're gay or not." Seifer sent a mean glare towards Zell and Zell got up, suddenly running up the path, away from the bully. Seifer looked behind him, a pain in his chest.

He'd _make_ Zell love him. Before he became a SeeD of next year, he'd _make_ Zell love him. At least then, _Squall _wouldn't be on Chicken's mind.

With that new resolve, he organized the clothes so Zell would find them when he came back. Pebbles cracked and Seifer looked at Zell, who backed away from him. Zell had returned already. It was a good thing the tattooed blonde never thought things through, Seifer decided. "Please don't," Zell asked, almost on tears.

"Don't what?" Seifer asked, halfway amused. Just what was Chicken thinking?

"Don't kiss me," Zell stated, eyes closing, handing Seifer back the coat.

"Why not?" Seifer asked, taking a step closer. Zell turned away. Seifer reached out and wiped away the dried tears gently. "Are you afraid of me?"

There were several nods as an answer, and Seifer watched as Zell got himself dressed. First came the undies. Then the pants, and Zell dusted them off. Zell then put on the socks and shoes he'd lost to run along the small beach and then put on his jacket, which was way too stiff for him. Seifer chuckled and traced a seam that was popping out due to Zell's overuse of his arms. Zell looked at it and suddenly fled into the darkness, turning a dark color Seifer couldn't make out. A piece of metal caught his eye.

He'd left his gloves behind, and Seifer knew Zell wouldn't come back down again. Seifer turned to face the bright-red moon, kissing the gloves gently. Maybe he'd already ruined his dreams before he got a chance to make them.

The moon only glowed in response. Seifer could almost hear it howl as he picked up his coat, drops of liquid hitting the gloves.

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Whaa! I don't like that ending, but it was…peh. It was, and that's what's as important. Here's some angst to make you all feel sad inside. Did you like it? Do you want more? Review and tell me!

Any questions you have shall be answered, provided you send them to me.


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